Becoming a mother has been one of the most extraordinary journeys of my life. From getting pregnant to my wonderful pregnancy, yes it truly was wonderful! To now having such a lovely son. Lennox is so kind and loving and happy. Everything I told him he was when he was inside my belly! I think it’s so important to talk to your children whether they are inside and especially once they are outside. I tell him every day how wonderful he is. How nice and happy he is. And he is! It’s such a blessing being his mother. This little guy was smiling right from the start. Awake or asleep, he would grin from ear to ear. Nothing warms my heart like that toothless grin of gums!
I think I am finally adjusting well to motherhood. There were some upsets with the birth and delivery, nothing went as I wished it would. But that was a huge learning lesson for me. We can make “plans” but we have to be flexible. Lennox was three weeks early which left me feeling gipped. I felt like I got robbed of three weeks of him growing and thriving in my belly. Having him inside was safe and comforting for us both. This new venture in the outside world felt so foreign to me. I did not want a c-section. I was terrified of it. But that’s what was best for Lennox. That’s what he needed, so that’s what we did. And he is perfectly healthy and that’s ALL that matters… Now that some time has passed, I realize more clearly that I had to let go of some of the control. I still do.
When Lennox would cry and I didn’t know how to fix it, I would get upset. It was so hard for me to not be able help him and know how to “fix” the problem. Now I realize it’s just his way of communicating. He’s ok. I’m doing a good job and we are figuring it all out 🙂
So now at almost 8 weeks, we are continuing to figure each other out daily. Every day I learn something new about my little man. Just last night he slept until 2:15am! No fuss. It was amazing! Where as before, he would wake up right around midnight angry and hungry! This kid likes to eat! He’s making up for lost time.
Lennox was born March 1, 2016 and weighed 5lbs, 1oz and 19in. Now he is 9lbs, 7oz!!! I mean this dude is a piggy!
Lennox is a character in Shakespeare’s Macbeth. I wish I could say that because I’m an actress I was inspired by the theater and meaning behind his name. But I can’t. Lol! I asked people on Instagram their favorite boy names and Lennox was on the list!
Plus it sounds great with Lockwood Lennox Sawyer Lockwood! Has a ring to it!
One of my favorite moments is after feeding and burping Lennox, he starts to slip into a deep sleep on my chest. I can tell by his breathing pattern when he is out like a light! Those moments of cuddling and snuggling are so incredibly special. I kiss him and smell him and hold him as closely as I can. Those cooing sounds are music to my ears.
And then he smiles. He smiles and I’m mush. I can’t get enough of him️
I never knew how strong the bond could be between mother and child. I never knew until now…
On a good night Lennox sleeps maybe a 5 hour stretch. On a difficult night he can be fussy for hours and that’s rough! Every day is different, which doesn’t make it easy to figure him out!
But we’re getting there…
I would say that one of the more challenging parts of being a new mom is exactly that. Trying to figure out what the baby needs, when he needs it. At first it made me feel insufficient. Like why couldn’t I figure out what my little boy needed? But now I’m realizing that it’s all a learning process. He may not even know what he needs at that particular moment! Every day that passes I start understand him a little bit more. I gain more and more confidence in myself as a mother and it’s so incredibly rewarding.
There are so many firsts with Lennox. Our first day at the beach, our first trip to the farmers market, our first grocery shopping trip, our first trip home to Arizona where I’m from. The list goes on and on… I can’t say that there’s one thing I’m most excited about during his first year. Everything excites me. Every smile, every time he coos in my ear, every time he starts to do his own unique giggle. Everything excites me! I am looking forward to all of it!
From actually getting pregnant to delivering a baby is such an incredible journey. I thank God that I was able to experience this and bring the most amazing little boy into the world! I feel so blessed to be part of the mommy club now.