Wednesday, 9 October 2013
My youngest child and I went to the doctor for his five year old well check the other day. The doctor asked if we were having any specific issues and I answered, “Nothing physical, just behavioral.” She let out a giggle. We had three girls before our son. I had no idea what mothers meant when they said their sons were just so physical and active. Now, I get it. We need to “run” our son like a horse so he can burn his physical energy or disaster will strike. Even after the “run,” we need to keep him engaged at home in a project, a lot free time leads to trouble. He likes to help around the house. Lucky for me, his favorite projects are with Dad and usually involve tools…and power tools are even more exciting. This weekend they decided to take our rusty golf cart apart, sand it down and repaint it. It’s like vacation time for me.
Another major difference I noticed is that my son has a much more difficult time verbally expressing himself than my daughters. These days we are really working with him on using his words when he is frustrated. Yesterday, he started to lose his temper. I pulled him aside and he told me that I was embarrassing him. I was so proud of him for communicating that to me. In turn, instead of just putting him in a time out we explain to him what that issue is so that he understands. This seems to be working…most of the time.
All the physical things aside, I love my son. He looked up at me when we were watching a movie the other day and said, “Mom, you are the most beautiful woman in the world.” Kids always seem to know what to say and when you really need to hear it.
Please like this on Facebook if you have an active boy at home.
Friday, 6 September 2013
This Sunday, September 8, is National Grandparents Day. The day originated with Marian McQuade in West Virginia. She was looking for a way to help the lonely elderly in nursing homes. In 1978, President Jimmy Carter proclaimed that National Grandparents Day would be celebrated every year on the first Sunday after Labor Day.
According to Wikipedia, the number of grandparents in the United States will rise from 65 million in 2011 to 80 million in 2020. Grandparents are also helping out in the area of child care and support. In 2012, 30% of children under five with working parents were cared for on a regular basis by a grandparent.
Our children our blessed to have three living grandparents and two living great-grandparents. Unfortunately, none of them live close to us. We have been lucky to see them many times throughout the years and our children feel a strong bond with them and an overwhelming love for them. We also “adopted” our 90-year-old neighbor. She has many grandchildren but none of them live in the area. Recently, she taught our children how to play checkers with true strategy because they were going to visit their great-grandfather and wanted to play with him.
If you are part of the 30% that is lucky enough to have the grandparents help out with childcare, I am envious of you. There are so many different things that grandparents can share with our children that we cannot. They have a different perspective and have more life experiences. Please help your children build and keep these important relationships. If you are unable to visit, there are many other ways to maintain these bonds. One of my daughter’s grandmothers read a book she was reading this summer so they could discuss it together over the telephone. Another daughter saves buttons that have fallen off because only grandma can sew them on just right. The artistic talents of our children are linked to a grandmother that sends the most creative thank you notes and has a love of art. One daughter inherited a sense of style from a great grandmother that has a pair of shoes and accessories to match every outfit.
Please call, face time, visit or write the grandparents this weekend. Small children can draw or paint a picture. My grandfather told me a story a few years ago. He wanted me to know that he chose the cemetery where he would be buried. He said there were many cemeteries in his town but he chose the one where all the famous people were buried so maybe someone would visit him. My grandfather had a very bad fall a few months ago that left him with memory loss and he is unable to care for himself. It has been difficult for my entire family. Before the fall, he was so sharp and active. He would read, travel, work, play golf and volunteer. He is now in a care facility. All he wants to do is go home. I will not be able to see him this Sunday but I hope someone “adopts” him and gives him the gift of a visit.
Please like this on Facebook if you will be calling or seeing your grandparents on Sunday or even adopting one.
Thursday, 5 September 2013
I hope many of you are having better luck than I am! It’s only been 3 weeks and I wasn’t expecting a miracle but some movement on the scale would’ve been nice. The first week I was so careful about what I ate, didn’t drink anything but water and my two cups of coffee, and I exercised. At the end of the week, I stepped on the scale and I had lost zero pounds. This wouldn’t have bothered me so much but my husband lost ten pounds! And he didn’t even exercise! How is this fair?
Feeling completely discouraged, I went on vacation for a week to the East coast. I grew up on the East coast and I always get excited when I go back. I miss the air, the lush green trees, the small town vibe and the FOOD! I decided to truly vacation and eat what I want and most likely have limited exercise. The first four days I was there I had a Boston Crème donut and a regular coffee from Dunkin Donuts for breakfast. Most days involved a lobster roll, clam chowder, ice cream, steak tips and more. I really enjoyed my time eating my way through New England. When I returned home, I was ready for a five-pound weight gain. I stepped on the scale and to my disbelief I weighed exactly the same! Now I was really confused. I spent one week eating well and exercising and another week gorging myself on childhood favorites and the same number was on the scale.
I need to regroup. I will not give up. I will lose this extremely stubborn extra weight. I have completely eliminated my morning favorite, French Vanilla Coffeemate, from my diet. I tried milk and I even tried half and half in my coffee but its not cutting it. I need to make a switch to tea. This has probably been the toughest change for me. I’ve also limited myself to drinking wine only three nights a week. I’ve cut down on second servings and I am not eating dessert. We are just finishing up the processed food at home and the kids are really missing the sweets and snack foods. They do not agree with me that fruit can be a dessert. I’m doing ok with the food changes; it’s the beverages that are difficult for me, especially the coffee and wine.
I think the only way to see the pounds start to drop is to amp up the exercise. I like to exercise once I am finished but I just find it really tough to get started. I’ve spoken with some friends about joining a gym thinking that will help motivate me. But is it realistic?
How do you find the time and the motivation to exercise?
What is your favorite way to burn calories?
Wednesday, 28 August 2013
When my children were young, it was easy. I would put together a snack box with a yogurt, fruit and maybe some cheerios and they were happy. Today, it is a completely different story. All of my children (including my preschooler) are very opinionated about what goes into their lunchbox. For years I would pack what I thought they should be eating. Last year I tried something new. I would take them grocery shopping and let them pick items to pack in their lunch. I figured at least they would eat lunch and it wouldn’t end up in the trashcan. This experience resulted in many items that turned my stomach like prepackaged snacks and Lunchables as well as a high grocery bill.
This year my kids are in for a shock. We are changing our eating habits to “clean eating.” I will not banish all treats and ice cream but will make every attempt to save them for special occasions. My plan is simple. It is to cut processed foods. So the question is, how do I get my kids excited about these new “clean eating” lunches? Well, a new lunch box is always exciting and I hope that will work. I love the bento lunch boxes that are popular now. They encourage healthier eating. Check out this website. Not only can you purchase the bento boxes here but they also have 365 days of lunch ideas.
There are many ideas out there in the blogosphere with creative ideas. These can be good but I still like to empower my kids to pack their own lunches but with guidance. I believe every lunch should have a fruit, veggie, protein, drink and a treat. I plan to brainstorm a list with the children with fruit, veggie, protein, drink and treat options. I want to stick with the items that they like so I know they will eat their lunch.
A great children’s book that discusses one picky eater and lunch box meals is “Bread and Jam For Frances” by Russell Hoban. This book is worth picking up if you have not read the book,
What do you put in your children’s lunchboxes?
Wednesday, 21 August 2013
I received an email from AYSO soccer and they are looking for coaches. Immediately, I thought I might coach my 7-year old daughter’s team if I could get a friend to assist me. When I mentioned it to my husband, he said, “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” I don’t really blame him.
A few years ago I was volunteering for everything. I had two leadership roles; as a mom room for one child’s class and the Girl Scout leader for another child among the many other volunteer jobs I was doing, all with a small toddler at home. By the end of that year, I was a disaster. While I enjoyed being with my children and getting to know their peers, there were many parts of the volunteer jobs that were not a lot of fun. Plus, I still had all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, paperwork, etc. to handle at home.
One of the reasons that I stay home with my children is so that I can provide an organized and calm home life for my children and for my husband. I want to decorate for every holiday. I want to have a home-cooked meal on the table most nights. I want the kids to come home to the aroma of cookies baking in the oven. This was not happening.
In recent years, I still volunteer a lot in my children’s classrooms but without taking a leadership role. This allows me more flexibility. I am also focusing on my children, their academics, extra-circular activities and sports. Oh, did I mention school projects. As your children get older, you will see the projects they are assigned and realize there is no way they can complete this projects without help from you and many trips to the craft store.
Kudos to all the moms that step up and take the leadership roles. It is great experience for moms that are out of the work force because you can put it on your resume if you decide to re-enter the work force one day. I am sure that I will again take on a leadership role but for now, I will enjoy being a a worker bee instead of a queen bee.
Thursday, 15 August 2013
After writing my lunch box post and I began to research the idea of “clean eating” and I made the decision to get on the scale. Wow, that was an eye opener! Somewhere over the last five years I gained 25 pounds! I only gained 27-30 pounds when I was pregnant. How did this happen?! Oh yes…eating off my kids plates, too many glasses of wine with my girlfriends, take out dinners when I didn’t feel like cooking, buying quick convenience foods and the list goes on. Some of you may be in my position or some of you may have just had a baby and need to lose the extra “baby weight,” whatever your reason or motivation, I propose we do this together.
I’ve tried all sorts of diets over the years but have only been successful in the short term. That is why I want to try something new, “eating clean.” This is more a lifestyle choice than a diet. Another reason to take this path is my children. I do not want them to be on a diet or think that they need to lose weight. I just want us all to live a healthy lifestyle. There are so many foods out there that are delicious and nutritious that they love. I want to focus on that.
So, here are the basics on “eating clean:”
- Eat Whole Foods – Think foods without labels: vegetables, fruits, whole grains, grass-fed and free-range meats, dairy, etc.
- Avoid Processed Foods – Basically this is almost anything with a label. This applies especially to labels with items on it that you cannot pronounce.
- Eliminate Refined Sugar – Refined sugar is pure calories.
I know this will be a process. I am not advocating running into your kitchen and throwing everything that is processed in the trashcan….I have a box of Fruit Loops to finish! And one of my biggest vices is my two cups of coffee in the morning with French Vanilla Coffeemate. This is going to be a HUGE sacrifice for me. It’s what gets me going in the morning. I recommend working through the items you have in your house and then do not buy anything new that is not “clean.”
Here are the steps I will take to jumpstart the plan:
- Finish my Coffeemate and then switch to green tea.
- Eat one clean meal a day until kitchen pantry is “clean.”
- Drink 8 8oz glasses of water a day.
- Eat 5-6 smaller meals throughout the day.
- Avoid second servings.
- Skip my glass of wine at least 5 days a week.
Let’s start with the clean eating and then we will address getting moving very soon (at least walk for now.) Walking is great exercise and even better if you are pushing a stroller with a baby or toddler in it!
Tuesday, 13 August 2013
One area of parenting that I am super consistent with is bedtime. This is mainly for my personal needs. My husband travels a lot and I need the children to have a consistent bedtime routine so I can have some time in the evening.
This summer, I lost control. As my children are getting older and able to stay up a little later, I let go of the routine for the summer. Many nights the children were up WAY to late and other nights I would TRY to get them to sleep earlier with little success. Most of the problem I believe came not from the varied bedtimes but from the change in routine. My kids were not thriving without a bedtime routine. Often, I would skip portions of our evening ritual to move the process along. This always backfired and it would end up taking longer to put them to bed.
School begins on August 26. Last night I slowly began to adjust bedtimes. I will move them by 15-20 minutes earlier until we get to the proper bedtime. I’ve also set our evening routine back in place. Here is a peek at what it looks like.
- Dinner (at a somewhat reasonable hour…it’s so tough in the summer when the sun is out so long)
- Bath for my youngest (the girls like to shower in the morning)
- Gummy Vitamins (my son has a song called The Gummy Truck he sings)
- Brush teeth
- Lay out clothes for the morning
- Go to the bathroom one last time (at least try)
- Read books
- Kiss goodnight and snuggles
Our evening routine has changed over the years. When the children were small I played music (lullabies) after books and turned on the twilight constellation night light turtle. Before that, I would sing to them and rock them in the glider. You need to find a routine that works for you and is age appropriate.
A good bedtime routine is a great gift you can give to your child and an amazing gift to yourself, a peaceful evening.
And there is nothing more beautiful than peaceful, sleeping children.
Monday, 5 August 2013
I don’t know about you but I’ve been drowning in paper for years! What art projects and tests do I keep from my children, recipes, sheets torn out of magazines, bills, tax returns, school awards and the list goes on and on. Recently, a friend of mine turned me onto Evernote. This was a big step for me. Twenty years ago, I could do anything computer related without a thought. Since I’ve been out of the workforce, it takes a lot for me to try to keep up with the ever-changing technology. Today, I have everything from recipes to school report cards to tax returns and everything in between organized with Evernote. I want to share two links with you that have really helped to simplify my life.
I want to warn you that Evernote for Moms is a $5.00 download purchase but it may be the best $5.00 I’ve spent in a long time. It gives someone that doesn’t know where to begin a great framework to start using the program.
Evernote has a wonderful blog post called “Twelve Ways to Get Ready for Baby.” This is a fantastic outline on how to manage all of the overwhelming information you need and receive when the baby is coming.
These days I do stay very organized with my Evernote. I keep trying to use it for my daily To Do lists but I have to admit it’s a struggle. I am a notebook and pen kind of gal. Something about physically crossing out the item that I completed makes me smile. Evernote does have checkmark boxes but it just doesn’t feel the same to me. However, I will keep trying!
Do you use Evernote? Do you have any good pointers?
Thursday, 1 August 2013
First of all, I believe birthday celebrations are important at every age. My concern is the over-stimulation that happens at most young children’s birthday parties. There are too many activities, too many sweets, extravagant goody bags and way too many kids. It seems that most parties are in the $500 price range. I remember one year spending $200 on a cake for my stepdaughter for her 6th birthday! What was I thinking??? Today, I long for simpler parties of pin-the-tail on the donkey and musical chairs.
I am planning the 5th birthday party for my son. If you have a child this age, you know that they are very opinionated about what they want to do for their birthday and whom they want to invite. My son wants laser tag. The reasons are many why he won’t have a laser tag party but try to explain this to an almost 5 year old. I decided to brainstorm about what he really loves these days…and one of the things he loves to do is boogie board. I got excited as we began the planning of a beach party with a boogie-boarding instructor and some water balloon games. My husband and I would cook hot dogs and hamburgers. The big fun will be no cake for dessert, but SMORES! Yum! Everything went into the trashcan when I mentioned it to my son. He did not like the idea. He decided he did not want a party and just wanted to go to dinner with the family and one to three friends. A simple family dinner sounds fun.
How do we reel in the birthday parties? What are some age appropriate ideas that are for the kids and not the parents? Here are a few guidelines to get you started:
- Time of the Day – Choose a time of the day where a meal will not be expected. The morning hour of 10am-12pm is a great time for young kids.
- Revamp the Goody Bag – It doesn’t have to be a bag of junk. How about a paperback book, a simple headband, or matchbox car?
- Guest List – Keep the guest list small. Your child probably has only a few close friends. If you feel the need to include the entire class at school, just bring in cupcakes or cookies and celebrate at school.
- Simple Décor – Many children consider the décor to be the paper plates, napkins, and balloons. Keep it simple. Remember the party is for them not for you.
- Location – Can you have the party at your home or a local park?
- Party Activities – You don’t need to hire a princess or a magician. You can play party games like a scavenger hunt, relay races or a beanbag toss. Or you can hire a local teenager to dress as a princess or paint faces.
The bottom line is that you need to keep it simple and remember that the party is for your child.
What are some fun birthday parties that you have planned for your child?
Can you guess what party game this is at our Scooby Doo themed party?
This is a photo from a pirate and princess party we had at home. We hired a high school girl to paint faces.
First Birthday for our youngest.
Thursday, 25 July 2013
One of my favorite guilty pleasures this summer is watching the PBS series, Downton Abby, on my ipad. I can’t wait to get the kids into bed at night so I can settle in and watch what will happen next to the Crawleys and their ever-loyal servants. This brought to the front of my mind something that has bothered me for a long time…manners and formalities. I know that times are changing and have been for a long time. But I miss the everyday manners and formalities. I remember the days when you got dressed for church, to go on an airplane or to have dinner at a friend’s home. Gone are the times when you wouldn’t even think of addressing an adult without the proper title Mr. or Mrs. Please don’t even get me started on table manners…well how many of us sit down at the table these days and actually eat as a family?
I am a big offender myself in the clothing department. There are many times in the summer my kids will go days without wearing shoes and I am embarrassed to say that we went to church in gym clothes and bathing suits last week! In my head, I was thinking it was better to be there in that state then not at all.
So the question is how do we bring these manners and formalities back?
My mother gave me a book recently called, 365 Manners Kids Should Know by Sheryl Eberly. This is a great book because it gives one lesson a day. Ideally, you would start on January 1 but I feel you can pick the book up on any date and begin. According to this book,
A three-year-old should:
- Establish eye contact when speaking to another.
- Say Hello.
- Wash hands before and after a meal.
- Stay seated during the meal.
- Use utensils at the table.
- Say “please” and “thank you”
A ten-year-old should:
- Be able to hold a conversation with an adult.
- Use good table manners.
- Answer the telephone properly and take careful messages.
- Show self-control in public places.
- Take responsibility for keeping the bedroom neat.
- Know how to be on time.
As parents we have to hold hard and true to what we expect as far as manners from our children. We can make no exceptions. We should not allow ourselves to be influenced against our beliefs by society or friends. When I was growing up, I remember my mother saying, “I want you to be prepared to visit with the Queen of England or the President of the United States.” And I shall teach my children the same.
What manners are important to you and how do you teach your children?